Imagine a life surrounded by people who support you. People who bring out the best in you. Who inspire and motivate you. People who lovingly encourage you to be your self. People who make you feel confident, free, and happy. People who get you. Ohhhh what a life that would be, right?
This is exactly what many of my clients are looking for. They have reached a point where they feel they have outgrown some of their friendships. Like they are in different places now or have different interests. Like they don’t get them. They feel lonely and are missing that connection and companionship. They find that their inner confidence and happiness is being impacted by this and they want to have love and support in their lives again.
This post will take you through some steps that you can take to surround yourself with supportive people.
It is important to reflect on what you are looking for in a supportive friendship or relationship.
Answering the below questions might help you do this:
- What does support mean to me? How can people show me that they support me?
- What does friendship mean to me? What do I expect of an ideal friend?
- What qualities and traits would an ideal friend have?
Create a vision
Reflect on your vision of a life full of supportive relationships.
What would be the dream outcome? What would life look like if you had supportive relationships? How would you be spending your time? What would you be doing? What would be different? How would you feel?
Write this vision down (or create an inspiration board) and place it in a prominent position where you can see it frequently.
Write a list of your qualities and traits as a friend or in a relationship
Reflect on who you are as a friend or support person.
What are your qualities and traits? What do you offer to the relationship?
Reflect on current relationships
In order to create supportive and beautiful relationships, you need to reflect on your existing relationships.
You can do this by:
- Writing a list of the people who are currently in your life. Put a 🙂 next to the people who possess the qualities and traits you have mentioned in your response to the previous exercise. These people make you feel good about yourself and you enjoy spending time with them. Put a 🙁 next to the people who make you stress or worry, who’s company you do not enjoy, and who make you feel less of yourself, drained, or unhappy. Trust your initial instinct when it comes to whether to put a 🙂 or a 🙁 next to a person’s name.
- Think about the role that each of the above people have in your life. What is working well in the relationship and what isn’t working so well?
- For each relationship who has a 🙂 next to their name, write down what it is that you like about them and how they make you feel. If you didn’t mention these qualities and traits in the first exercise, consider adding them to the list.
List options for connecting with people
Think about what options you have for connecting with supportive people.
You could do this by:
- Looking at your list of 🙂 people from the exercise above and noting how you met them. If you are looking to make new friends, perhaps you can meet them in the same way (e.g., if it was at school, maybe not. But if it was at your old soccer class, maybe you could consider taking up a sport again).
- Write a list of where you currently socialise with people who you have not actively tried forming a further connection with yet (e.g., work, sport, church). Are there any people in these groups that you could consider being friends with? Perhaps you could organise to catch up with them in some capacity?
- Brainstorm other options for connecting with like-minded people in person. Research what interest groups, clubs, and events are in your local area. Think about whether you’d like to play a sport. Are there volunteer options that you are interested in?
- Research your options for connecting with supportive people online. There are so many blogs, online groups, and Facebook pages and groups out there now where you can form wonderful friendships and support networks. Research your interest areas, start commenting on blogs, and reaching out to people who inspire and motivate you to be your best self.
Consider engaging support from professionals
Consider reaching out to any relevant professionals who can support and guide you to achieve your goals and be your unapologetically confident self.
This might include nutritionists, dieticians, psychologists, counsellors, personal trainers, a business or life coach, or other professionals.
Let’s soar together,